Why Is Kinky Sex Good For You?

Kinky sex is good for you for a number of reasons, but the top five are:

  1. Orgasms are good for you, so any sex is good. Kinky sex is just another way to achieve orgasm.
  2. Stretch your creative chops. Wether it’s bondage or role-play, kinky sex requires a lot of creativity!
  3. Sharing dirty secrets with your partner is a great way to bond!
  4. Chase away shame! Sexual shame damages your self esteem, owning your sexual desires is empowering.
  5. Learn to communicate. You have to learn to ask for what you want, and listen to your partner. These are great skills no matter what you are doing!

Why is Fifty Shades of Grey a Good Book?

Fifty Shades of Grey gave women a reason to talk and explore kinky sex. It gave women a language to discuss their desires. It helped make those desires mainstream. It opened up a world that other wise would not have been available. For that, I love the book.

Why is Fifty Shades of Grey a Bad Book?

Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good representation of BDSM and kink. I think of it as rapey wealth porn. If it took place in a trailer outside of Seattle instead of in a penthouse, it would be an episode of CSI. Real tops/dom/dommes do not bully their bottoms/submissives into doing anything that they want. There is communication, negotiation and consent. This was basically an abusive relationship with hot sex in a monied location.

This is not a critique of the writing, only the content.

How To Try Kinky Sex With Your Boyfriend

First, last and always, communicate. Ask your partner what interests them about kinky sex. How do they want to feel, emotionally, as well as physically. Make sure you have a safe word, even when you are just starting out and trying easy things. Better to not need it and have it, then need it and not have it! Start slow! It’s easy to speed up when the time is right. Be open minded, and ready to try things your not sure about, but be firm if you are certain it’s not your thing. Strive to create a safe place to explore, both for yourself, and for your partner. Say no, it’s not your thing, but respect that it might be your partners thing.

Always remember, there is no right, only what’s right for you.

What Kind Of Candles Are Good For Hot Wax Play?

These are my favorites. They are in a glass jar, rather then a stick allowing you to wait until you have enough wax ready to pour on your plaything, and easy to blow out and save the rest for later. They are also available as a traditional candle stick if that is something you prefer.

DO NOT use any candle. Make sure they are made of low temperature wax, made of soy or paraffin. Beeswax can be fine for more intense wax play, as long as it’s not mixed with other waxes, which might burn hotter. Best practice is to stick to candles meant for wax play.

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