Dear Ms Mona Darling,
I want to start exploring kink, but I don’t know where to begin. I mean. I know what I’m curious about, but I can’t help but feel there is more. How do I explore without heading out to some club with the kids or surfing the web, where truthfully, most of the stuff I’m finding doesn’t interest me, and some of it is a little scary. Plus, there is so much of it and I don’t really know what terms to use to look and not end up staring at some woman’s genitals.
signed – curious
There are indeed, a lot of women’s genitals on the internet and if that’s not your thing, it can make it difficult for a lady to find what she is looking for! Especially if you don’t exactly what you ARE looking for. I suggest you start by reading. Rachel Kramer Bussel offers a slew of anthologies with topics ranging from dirty-sexy to kinky-weird. Find one anthology that interests you and use that as a starting point. From there you will find authors and ideas that can help you broaden your search.
Kink is a huge, individual, and varying arena. One thing may turn you on, and the same thing, presented a different way, will be a total buzz-kill, so keep looking. Part of the fun is in the search! As you explore, it’s perfectly natural to find new interests, lose interest in old passions, or find that occasionally, you have no interest at all in kink, while other times you find yourself insatiable. Of course, you could find your one thing and always love it and always go to it, and that’s ok too.
The great thing about kink is that there are so many areas to explore. If one thing isn’t your jam, try something new. Just don’t shame those who do enjoy the things you don’t. You don’t want to yuck anyone else’s yum!
If you would like more information or a one-on-one coaching session, let me know! I’m always happy to help women explore!