Discussing Your Sexual Fantasies

He was drenched in sweat. Not fresh salty sweat, but the rancid sweat of someone who had seen a several hot summer days since his last shower. The air conditioner in his car was out. Rather unfortunate as he just drove six hours to see me.

I invited him in and bid him sit at my feet as I perched on my throne, wishing my current dungeon had a full shower, rather then a half bath shoved into what used to be a storage closet. I loved the ascetics of the aging dark brick, but it didn’t offer much in the way of modern conveniences. Usually I saw that as a plus.

We chat casually as he nervously situates himself, out of breath from navigating the narrow stairs. This day is something he’s fantasized about since he was a teen – over half his life. Reading dirty stories on my website finally drove him to go through with it. We talked about his application, even though I’d already gone over it during our phone interview.

I like to give new clients plenty of opportunity to add ideas, fantasies, and final thoughts before we begin to play. It helps me get inside their head and understand which parts of their fantasies hold their most base desires. Todays play was to be centered around Goddess worship and I wanted to know what it was about Goddess worship that truly appealed to him. Those are questions that generally people new to exploring kink and BDSM, have a hard time answering. It’s like asking why they like the color blue.

Because it’s pretty? Because it’s… a nice color?

He answered my questions politely, adding tidbits of pertinent information which I mentally filed away for later.

After a moments silence, he blurts out “I’ll do anything to smell my goddesses farts. I want to feel the warm air on my face. I want to know that is as close as I will ever get to the goddess. That her dank used air is all I deserve!”

This is NOT something he had mentioned in his written application nor during our brief phone interview. Had it been mentioned, I would have informed him that I had not farted in my entire life. Not that anyone could prove. I was, and continue to be, a very open person. I have no problem indulging a client in a fetish that I might not completely understand or appreciate.

Had someone asked me earlier that morning what my limits were, I would have stated the usual. Anything involving unknowing people, those who are underage, animals, and poop. Pretty much anything else was possible, to some extent or another.

But that would only have been because I hadn’t even thought of farts as being something someone could fetishize.

The internet was still a very new place and rule 36 had yet to be invoked.

To sum up our story so far, he had driven 6 hours in the height of a July heatwave, in a car with no air conditioning, given me several hundred dollars (which he could have used to fix said air conditioning), and yet, was not going to get what he really wanted because he had not asked for it until it was too late.

Would I have given it to him had he asked had I had time to eat a high fiber meal and let me body do the talking? Nope. I’m still a lady and I still don’t fart. But a co-worker will gleefully eat an oat bar and out-do a room full of beer soaked frat boys. Had he mentioned that interest, I would have referred him to her.

Instead, we spent the afternoon going through the motions of Goddess worship, lite bondage and slave training, without the one thing that made it really count for him.

But still, we were able to find middle ground.

I worked within his fantasy telling him that he hadn’t earned my royal flatulence. Should he impress me, I would invite him to come back and serve my friend, Princess Browncloud. We also played with his interest in being a revolting slave. He loved to see the distain on my face any time I got a whiff of his carefully curated body odor.

Asking for what we want is terrifying. We fear being judged. We fear damaging our relationship. But we all have fantasies. We all have fetishes. Once we open up and start talking about them, we can work towards negotiating a comfortable middle ground. Perhaps you aren’t comfortable opening up and sharing your deepest darkest right away. Is there a way to give your partner a peak into your fantasies? A book or movie? A particular scene or idea that gets your attention?

How could you start the conversation? 

You may never feel safe opening up about your most private fantasies. If you never start the journey, you will never know how far into the adventure you would venture.

Blog Comments Are So 2012!

I have turned comments off on my blog, and instead invite you to join my private women only community to discuss this post, as well as an other sexual questions you might have. Think of it as FetLife for women – minus male gaze.

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